faking it

it was too cold to get out of bed today
(and if youve guessed it already,
yes, i didnt end up going to school.. again)

so on days in which i do leave the house
i usually take a shower immediately after i come home
that or ill have something to eat first
but most definitely,
i have to take my shower before i jump into bed
(this is because im mildly OCD
and cannot lay on my bed until im in my pjs)

anyways so i pretended that i went to school today
by having a shower at 4:30
(before everyone comes home from school and work)
so that when i came downstairs,
it would look as though ive just come home and had a shower
but my dads sixth sense questioned me
and the conversation went like this..
dad: you didnt go to school today did you?
me: nope, too cold today
dad: i knew it.

(i think it was because i went downstairs that set if off,
i usually dont go downstairs after my showers)

twenty-one

the number of days ive slept through my alarm
the number of days ive forgotten to get out of bed
the number of steps it takes me to get to the bathroom
the number of times ive missed the train
the number of times ive misplaced my mp3
the number of days ive walked in the rain without an umbrella
the number of days i didnt do my homework
the number of days ive skipped class
the number of candy fizzers in a packet
the number of hugs ive received from my siblings
the number of times my dad has told me to clean my room
the number of times ive fallen asleep with the tv on
the number of songs on my playlist at the moment
the number of times ive had to remind myself to change my facebook dp
the number of photos ive taken yesterday
the number of times ive forgotten to charge my phone
the number of times ive had to get out of bed because ive forgotten something
the number of times ive told myself to stop thinking
the number of days i actually slept early for a change
the number of days im not sure if i want to wake up
the number of my current age

whatever 21 is,
its just a number, a two digit number
do whatever you want with it
divide it by 3, add it to your life or subtract it from your mind

i dont know how to feel about being 21
am i suppose to feel wiser, taller, happier?
more of an adult?
it has no real significance to me whatsoever

the catcher in the rye

"If you feel like you are going insane,
and you are trapped in a
dysfunctional environment,
You Are Not Crazy."
-Frank Warren