sleeping with wolves

i lose hope and crouch under the phone booth
i see them coming towards me, its cold and snowing
i make no effort in getting away this time
with my eyes closed, head down
and arms wrapped around my legs, i shiver violently

patterns

im sooo extremely angry at myself atm
i literally just woke up about an hour ago
and realised i slept through my alarm.
ive woken up so late that i cant even attend the later class
and im so angry because i cant blame anyone but myself

been telling myself to fix my sleeping pattern for the past five years
but its not going anywhere
and its not insomnia im suffering from
because i do get enough sleep in a day
im just a night owl
and my body prefers to sleep during the day
hence making it difficult to get up in the early morning or afternoon

freedom

tonight marks the night of my last shift at work
i should be ecstatic and i was
though i was unable to express my emotions
because that is still something i have trouble with

my plan now is to be unemployed for a long while
until i figure out what i want to do next
now that i am free to do whatever i want
i am torn between playing useless games and homework
and i know what i should be doing but sometimes i get so tempted
and i dont even know why
i hate my brother for downloading gunbound again
im so ashamed of even saying this right now
i feel like the only person my age here playing it
its way worst that half life, wow or dota.. sigh

other than homework and games
im going to catch up on tv shows, movies and reading
and last but not least.. sleeping.. and a lot of it too
because no one is going to stop me from doing what i love most