refined

ive decided to change blogs.
im moving to wordpress.

i plan to blog there from now on
and have this place completely closed off and on private.
hopefully i would blog more often,
maybe on my work, inspiration and life.

i need to do something career orientated at the moment
because im scared that after i finish my course,
i wont be able to find a job.
im going to start blogging things i dont mind people seeing. =/
hrm.

in the spring

in exactly eight more weeks the semester ends.
i absolutely cannot wait to have free time and do nothing in the summertime.
but as for now im waiting for the real spring to arrive
weather this week is gong to be a downer
and that makes me sad.
especially after being sick for the past two weeks
and having life threatening coughing fits in my sleep.
i seriously felt like my lungs were going to fall out

green peas

i havent been eating green peas lately
but i have been on my green Ps for the last couple of days
and forgot to tell my friends
i havent even put up my green Ps in the car
should really do it soon.

coincidentally.. my name came up for free boost
same time round last year.
i think some higher being is trying to tell me im not that bad of a driver
even though some of my friends still fear the thought of me driving.
haha

screen worlds

heres a short timeslice i made at acmi.
as i was watching this i was a little sad because i realised my feet werent off the ground
even though it looks like im jumping. (sad face)
i might have to learn to jump a little higher next time.

in your sleep

a few reasons why i cant sleep at night
• its too cold
• its too  hot
• thinking about if i should get up and pee
• figuring out if im tired or if im really hungry
• thinking if ive forgotten anything for the next day
• thinking about thoughts that lead to other thoughts
• scared of something and cant take it off my mind
• im not tired
• caffeine
• feeling bad for not brushing my teeth and then ending up brushing my teeth
• re-enacting scenarios in my head
• because im thirsty but too lazy to get a drink
• feeling bad for not finishing my homework
• scared that ill be too tired to get up the next morning
• thinking about the weather tomorrow and what to wear

credit cards and other things

i applied for a credit card awhile ago without ever needing it
because the stupid lady called me and asked if i wanted one
and at the moment i was like "yeah why not"
and if i didnt want it i can always cancel it
or never go into my local branch to pick up my card

but when the time came when i was strapped up for cash
i went and picked up my credit card from my local westpac branch
since then i have been using my credit card like (almost) wild fire
i think im in the middle of using more than i make in a week
so there goes my savings

and at the same time i have been visiting these coupon sites my friends have intro-ed me to
and i have been making small purchases that are slowly adding up
 (sad face)
so if you ever get bored and want to explore visit these sites
crowdmass
zoupon
scoopon
spreets

at the moment the only reason i seem to be blogging
is because im trying to stay away from these sites
theres this certain coupon i want to purchase that my friends have already told me not to buy
because we dont need it
i need to stay away from it until the offer expires.
im pretty sure i can stay away til then

but until that happens,
i should really hide my credit card somewhere
so i dont end up using it

fourth year

i was talking to my friend today
and pretty much where life is going.
we suddenly realised that we both havent gone very far in life
compared to others,
were still at uni and still dont know when well finish

when asked how long left i have at uni
i say "about a year and a half"
but in my head its more like,
"ONLY IF i dont fail,
or choose to do work placement,
or do honours, or dont drop out of this course"
and then after all that,
im not even guaranteed a job
or know that this is what i really want to do my whole life.

i just want to finish uni already
or sleep in for the next two years and get a degree
and make money.

im going to sigh myself to sleep now
i want to be like the others.
completing uni and graduating.
if only i knew what i wanted earlier
and stopped fucking around with life
it would have been nicer to me

polaroid this

so i think you guys would know by now
that i like pretty much anything photo related
i bought this polaroid branded mobile printer the other day
because it was dirt cheap!

had it charged up, connected and here is the first print!

also found an app that polaroids your photos.
something that will come in handy in the future =)

the week

this week might be quite a big week for me.
not too sure what will happen yet, but well see.
but i think it will all be ok and ill have a good laugh at it,
along with everyone else when they find out.

her room

it was so nice yesterday when i woke up
that i wanted to sew something
but realised i didnt have a few things that i needed
so i wandered around the house for a bit and ended up in jennys room

it was soo warm in there that i decided to lay in her bed
and read cyanide & happiness comics on my ipod all day
and a little bit of me just began to miss how my room use to be
until she moved in and totally took over it
slowly taking down my postcards,
bringing in new furniture and re-arranging the room

when you walk in my old room,
it really didnt feel like mine anymore.
i better start adjusting to my new room now
which ive been sleeping in for the past 7 months or so =s

three

draw brilliantly
stop over analysing/thinking
be happy

dead battery

this is what happens when you talk in the car
with everything off besides the music!

friend and i talk in car with engine off
music still playing
friend says goodbye and leaves
i try to start car, doesnt start
i wait a couple of minutes, nothing
i search for my phone, call friend
"i think my battery is dead"
friend comes back, checks it out
"oh no i think your battery died"
we wait in car for a few more minutes
try and start car again, still nothing
friend gets out and pushes car to the driveway
i sit in the car and laugh
friend tells me to steer closer to the driveway
steering wheel locked!
friend tells me to put the key in the car
puts key in car, steer really hard to the left
turn on hazard light
friend goes into the house to look for jump cables
waiting waiting waiting
after awhile of waiting,
car pulls over on the other side of the road
i see car, pretend i didnt see them and stare straight ahead
car beeps
i turn my head left, right, left, right
i smile awkwardly and see them trying to get my attention
they roll their window down,
"are you alright there?"
me, scared, opens door and shouts
"yeh im cool, just waiting for a friend"
hazard lights still on, car is on an angle on the road
strangers car drives forward and does a u-turn
not knowing what to do,
i lock my doors after i see them drive off
wait a minute hoping noone will approach me
tries and starts the car again
because of the suspense
of waiting for friend to look for jump cables is killing me
i try to start the car again
car starts, engine running
happy
calls friend,
"omg the car started"
"it did?, you going to be alright?"
"yeh i should be, ill call if anything"
"cool"
"cool, see ya then. thanks heaps"
drives of, relieved.

moral to the story
- dont drain your car battery
- the music doesnt need to be on when youre talking
- have jump cables ready
- know how to use jump cables
- dont start a new conversation when youre almost dropping someone off

download me

i love trying to use up all my bandwidth on the very last day
and then spending my cold nights in bed
watching useless stuff i download/stream
it might be a fun winter this year after all
since we upgraded our net package,
things have never been the same

forget me not

"in order to forget, we must remember something else. Spray to Forget acts as a conceptual sideways-elevator, nudging the unconscious to release a difficult memory and replace it with a more appealing one, or to create a new memory through experience."

im the type of person that remembers everything and anything
i remember a lot of useless things
my mind stores information like a hard drive
(but only memories,
everything academic just goes through the other ear)
and sometimes i just dont want to remember them anymore
but i do

im not talking about wanting to forget the negative things
im talking about useless things
things considered small to other people
and to me as well (maybe)
but having a good memory,
my head doesnt forget about it
and when i do remember these things and mention them
and only to find out the other person doesnt remember,
it makes me sad for some reason
it somewhat makes me feel insignificant
because i feel as though my mind has programmed itself
to remember this memory/fact
and therefore has subconsciously labeled it
somewhat "important" and worth remembering
but not important enough for the other person to remember

if only i can forget the things that other people forget,
i would make myself feel so much better.
but in the meantime
i have taught myself not to mention everything small
in this case,
i wont have to go through the disappointment of being forgotten
and then wanting to forget the feeling of being disappointed in the end

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

chapter 11

"You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were."

21st thank you speech

ive just finished writing up my 21st thank you speech
its late i know
but thats what happens when you have a fake 21st party
and everything happens in the post and in the world wide web
but here is a little snippet
now to organise dates to send out cake!
(yes cake, as i had promised)

"so thank you for the
seconds
minutes
hours
days
weeks
months
years
talks
walks
bus rides
train rides
drives
lifts
ice cream
breakfast
lunch
dinner
desert
snacks
supper
brunch
texts
emails
messages
notes
letters
games
late night chats
debates and discussions
laughs and tears
my happy memories
your time
and most importantly,
your books.

and i know i dont hang with you guys frequently
or for some at all
but thank you for being you
and for everything else
that doesnt make sense in the world

thank you for reading =)

regards,
kim nguyen"

text message from johnny
"Awww I just cringed. Lol"

back to the present

been away for awhile sorting other things
will be back soon
to mope and write about all things useless.

faking it

it was too cold to get out of bed today
(and if youve guessed it already,
yes, i didnt end up going to school.. again)

so on days in which i do leave the house
i usually take a shower immediately after i come home
that or ill have something to eat first
but most definitely,
i have to take my shower before i jump into bed
(this is because im mildly OCD
and cannot lay on my bed until im in my pjs)

anyways so i pretended that i went to school today
by having a shower at 4:30
(before everyone comes home from school and work)
so that when i came downstairs,
it would look as though ive just come home and had a shower
but my dads sixth sense questioned me
and the conversation went like this..
dad: you didnt go to school today did you?
me: nope, too cold today
dad: i knew it.

(i think it was because i went downstairs that set if off,
i usually dont go downstairs after my showers)

twenty-one

the number of days ive slept through my alarm
the number of days ive forgotten to get out of bed
the number of steps it takes me to get to the bathroom
the number of times ive missed the train
the number of times ive misplaced my mp3
the number of days ive walked in the rain without an umbrella
the number of days i didnt do my homework
the number of days ive skipped class
the number of candy fizzers in a packet
the number of hugs ive received from my siblings
the number of times my dad has told me to clean my room
the number of times ive fallen asleep with the tv on
the number of songs on my playlist at the moment
the number of times ive had to remind myself to change my facebook dp
the number of photos ive taken yesterday
the number of times ive forgotten to charge my phone
the number of times ive had to get out of bed because ive forgotten something
the number of times ive told myself to stop thinking
the number of days i actually slept early for a change
the number of days im not sure if i want to wake up
the number of my current age

whatever 21 is,
its just a number, a two digit number
do whatever you want with it
divide it by 3, add it to your life or subtract it from your mind

i dont know how to feel about being 21
am i suppose to feel wiser, taller, happier?
more of an adult?
it has no real significance to me whatsoever