toby

its been about over a year now since my dad gave my dog toby away
and for most of you i bet you didnt even know i had a dog
but i did, for a short two weeks
until one day coming home from school
tommy and jenny ran to me and told me that dad had given our puppy away
without even asking us
and i know jenny was sad for a few days

but as for i, i didnt feel a thing
as much as i liked toby
i slowly grew sick of him
he was always barking to get our attention
he always acted cute so you had to have all eyes on him
you always had to feed, bathe and play with him
i dont know how he did it but he always got his way
because of people like jenny who gets sucked into these things
and soon after a few days he was more of a chore than a companion

for awhile i actually thought i would love toby
but it was just so tedious looking after him
because he had soooo many needs and wants
so its plain to say that i am not a pet person
even though i foolishly tried so hard to love pets

but whats strange is sometimes i do miss toby
but then i know when his around he would get on my nerves
and i would only realise i never really missed him at all
i just thought i did

and now i just think pets are only nice to you
because they are using you !
to get what they want
because if you dont fall in love with them
you wont run around and play with them
though you have provided them with numerous toys but none of them are good enough
and if you dont play with them everyday they get aggressive
and they dont understand you at all
that youve spent the whole day at work, school, doing homework and house chores
that you just cannot be bothered with them anymore

so thank god toby is with another family
that maybe might genuinely appreciate him more
sigh. he is such a lucky dog
maybe well should call the next pet lucky so he'd turn out unfortunate. LOL

did you know?

today my sister told me to remember john simpson tomorrow because of ANZAC DAY
and i didnt really care about what she was saying
but i kept talking to her anyway
and pretended to sound interested

and then she taught me what ANZAC stood for
Australia New Zealand Army Corpse
and i was so interested because i never thought it even stood for anything
anzac day to me is just a public holiday
where we ought to get double pay for working
but unfortunately at my workplace we dont receive benefits!
so its depressing to know that tommorow ill be receiving standard pay =(
i swear they never taught us that in primary school!

dear diary

i havent bloggged since rye
because i dont have time
so heres jennys diary that she started on sunday
shes even got faces for her moods during the day
i think its the funniest thing ever !
its sooooo cute!
but i can never say that to her face


jenny likes "two and a half men" - funniest typo ever!

WORK WORK WORK

the boss rang me today because he was upset i didnt work todays shift
and because im not going to be working for the rest of this week
and i replaced last weeks shifts because i wanted to take time off to do some work

he then went onto how i "let" him down
during the christmas period
when i went overseas giving him a short notice
(but it was all of a sudden so i COULDNT give him an advance notice
though i did tell him i might be going overseas a fortnight before i left)
and here he goes.. you know i get a huge amount of resumes
and its really hard to find a job nowadays because of the recession
and im happy to employ someone who can commit to there shifts
youre a good worker when youre here
but youre always taking time off
and you dont even have the decency to tell me
(not like his around when im working)
so are you serious about this job?

here i am just woken up by his phone call
not knowing what to say
kim: i dunno works just work to me
kyle (boss): (his really trying to scare me now but its not working)
kyle: i understand you have to study but theres plenty of time for that
during the holidays i want you to work at least an extra shift or two
now when you were in school i gave you 3 shifts like you asked for
kim: 2!!!
kyle: what?
kim: 2, i asked for 2 shifts a week
kyle: ok 2 then. but during the holidays i want my other employees to take up a few shifts to give the fulltimers a break
kyle: and because you couldnt work today, which you didnt even put in the diary, michelle had to come in and work and this is the time when i want my fulltimers to take a break, not pull 6 shifts a week because YOU couldnt work
kim: (silence..) ok..
kyle: well what do you have to say for yourself? how much do you need this job?
kim: (sif ask me that) i dunno. not really? i do get youth allowance
kyle: you get youth allowance do you. well i really want you to consider your position here so i can decide if i should be looking for people.
kim: ok then.. (rightttttttttttttt)
kyle: its not just you im calling there are others too
kim: ok.. (think of something he wants to hear) err sorry?
kyle: ok i just want you to think about it
kim: k bye
kyle: bye

AS IF TRY AND MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY !
because i dont. if i didnt have work maybe ill have a better social life !
and bringing up stuff from the past ?? LIKE SERIOUSLY!
that was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo four months ago! LET IT GO
(replaying in my head.. kyle: kim you let me down during christmas LOL LOL LOL)
and i was just thinking of calling him back and going
"kyle dont worry about rostering me on anymore because i DONT need this job"
but i guess i wouldnt be able to live without that extra money to save up for overseas
but then again maybe i can find another job?
but THAT would require me to go look for a job!
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
but i know i can purely live on youth allowance
and so now here i am contemplating what i should do.

btw i do feel bad thinking that some fulltimer is pulling 6 shifts a week..
but if they were going to be going away they should have planned it before
and wrote it in the diary.
or better yet JUST let kyle work it
since i havent seen him do a close shift before since last year!
PLUS ! there are 6 other casuals who arent going away on the weekend im also going away!
and its only ONE shift that im not replacing!
usually if im not working i replace the shifts myself!
so its not like its an EXTRA effort for him to replace a shift

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(runs around the house frustrated)

epping

my family and i went to epping last night
and usually we would split into two groups
the adults, and the kids..

now when we go shopping i tend to buy one piece of item for each kid.
this is normally either clothes or something school related
but since my dad had been paid his bonus from the government
i thought.. you know what? instead of paying for it this time im going to ask him for money
[because i always pay for things and my dad doesnt even offer, like that time when we were at the supermarkets and in line and then he disappeared and i ended up paying for the groceries! argh. usually ill prob give him a 20 or 50, (whatever i have in cash normally)]
so i asked for 50 bucks and his like
"NO! you cant buy clothes! he doesnt do anything around the house!
dont buy him clothes! his just going to wear it and leave it there!"
but somehow i budged him to give us a 50 dollar note
but it was only allowed to be spent on "food"

so since splitting my dad somehow found us and then started following us
THIS WAS THE MOST ANNOYING THING OF ALL
everything i touch was like
"kim you dont need that"
"put that back ill take you somewhere cheaper"
"kim you should wear this" (and shows me some ugly shirt)
"shes got too many pjs"
"he doesnt need anymore clothes"
"remember, only buy food"
"you want a new phone? take mine ill use my old one"
"this isnt durable, itll wreck after one wash"
"you already have this at home"
"its going o get lint balls on them"
SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH

so yeh in the end we bought tommy and jenny a hoody each at target
and i made him pay for it since he followed us
tommy hates it when he comments
and when he does tommy looks at me like "kim say something back i really want this " look lol
and when he says it to jenny, jennys like "but kim let me"
sigh i might be too generous to my siblings

cold nights

sitting on johnny's computer chair, legs crossed with a hot water bottle on my lap
doing school assignment
minty m&m's under my tongue
(i like melting them under my tongue before i squash em and all the choc oozes out YUM)
sipping on instant chai lattes drizzled with honey
currently listening to old yeah yeah yeahs stuff
are remedies to stop my fingers from getting so cold

centrelink forms

i hate filling out centrelink forms for my dad.
especially when he gives it to me and expects me to do it straight away
he just stands there with a pen and goes "do it now! i need it now"
when the bloody form is due in a week.. plenty of time!
and then he says all this while im either doing homework, reading or watching tv
he doesnt even have the courtesy to wait for a commercial break!

he would never just hand me the form and tell me to do it before a certain time frame
which makes me really agitated because i dont like doing things straight away
i like doing things in my own time
(im doing a favour for him hence he should be waiting for me to do it when i please!!!)
and i get grumpy and i snap back at him
and i hate it even more when im watching tv and he tells me to do this
and then he sits at the end of my bed
and watches tv too
and waits for me to do it
(when this happens i would usually turn the tv off and pretend to sleep, anything for him to get out)

and what makes me more frustrated is that
he always tells me to do it and noone else
like johnny or tommy ITS ALWAYS FUCKING ME !
during the holidays when i went to vietnam
he had the forms photocopied and i filled them out
so while i was away he could just copy and fill them out himself
and then when i came back he STILL made me fill out his fucking forms
how hard is it to fucking copy forms !
if he needs it so urgently he should just do it himself !
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

other than that today when i was logging his income report to centrelink over the net
he sat there asking me if he got paid his 950 + 900 yet
dad: kim check if i got paid yet
kim: well you got the letter so of course you got paid
dad: well check for me cos im not sure
kim: why cant you just check your bank account
dad: money comes in and out all the time i cant keep track
kim: then youll just have to wait til your statement comes out, its not my fault you dunno if you did or didnt get paid or not
dad: the statement doesnt come out til ages
kim: well too bad, the site just shows your last payment and next payment
i dunno what you got paid last month
dad: why do you always make me so "upset" <-- in eng
kim: its because you always frustrate me! i said ill do it and you just sit there and wait. i said ill do it later gee!

no offence but its not my fault if my dad does not notice 1850 bucks being credited into his bank account.
seriously how stupid can you be?

twitter

ive noticed that many celebrities now have a twitter account
and have become twits (oh how weird is it to call yourself a twit)
(so far i know of.. demi moore, ashton kutcher (ashton moore? lol), lilly allen, perez hilton, ellen degeneres, john mayer and even frezned.. and the veronicas ? o_0)
is it some new phase i dont know about ?
whats going to happen to facebook now ?
i wonder if its going to take over facebook..
like how facebook kinda took over myspace.. haha
but anyways i think if everyone starts making a twitter account..
i think i am too..
because i tend to be a conformist
and i like talking about myself (hence the blogging.. or am i blogging due to the fact that i have a fear of being ignored or forgotten and that i have to blog to prove to myself that i matter .. hrmm)

yours sincerely
possible future twit
ME =)
(yeh using the word twit doesnt sound right)

excursion

i was on an excursion today
because i missed the one on tuesday
(i was 5 mins late! and they left and i had no idea which way they were walking)
and had to attend the thursday morning session
the group consisted around 10 people including the tute and i
and the purpose of the excursion was to observe art deco buildings

now shannon asked me why i dont make friends
and get someones number
so then if i were late then i could call "my friend" and ask where we were
and that i wouldnt have missed that tuesday session

but everyone knows i have trouble making friends !
i have trouble keeping conversation with people
and isnt it a bit odd asking for someones number first hand
because when people do i feel weird
unless they have a legit reason
and then i realised i dont remember ever asking for anyones number

anyways so this morning on the excursion
this girl made friends with this guy !
and she was like all "oh its good to finally put a name to a face"
(because this is an online class we dont really see each other in real life)
and the guys like "yeh.. we have typo together or something yeh"
("typo" is a subject on typography which i should be doing next sem)
and so they drift off to conversation whilst walking
but not even mid way they run out of things to talk about
but they remained to walk close to each other you know
like they are friends.. but have nothing to talk about
but its polite i guess
(i really hate situations like this so i was smart and did not talk to anyone during the whole excursion and if someone looked my way ide look somewhere else.. my way of dodgy soon to be awkward convos haha)
but yeh half way through the guys friend came and they started hanging out
leaving the girl who befriended the guy out
and i felt sorry for her
because as they walked together she kinda tried to join in their convo
and in my head i was thinking oh please.. no chance girl
youve been taken over !

so that is why i dont make friends shannon !
and plus if i had a friend wouldnt we be hanging out together
and hence.. both of us would miss that tuesday excursion session?

o_0

i dont know if this has ever happened to anyone
but today at work i served a person ive seen on facebook!
it was extrememly awkward and i didnt know what to do
so i tried to give the least eye contact as i can
just in case the other person might notice that im giving them weird looks
because my face is always strange o_0

but yeh it was a friend of a friends..
you know how you get bored
and just look at everyones profile just because its not set on private?
lol no?... because i do that..
time spent not sleeping is spent doing something pretty sad..
like facebook.. and youtubing.. and stalking..
oh dear me..